What The Crap Is Wrong With Our Legal System?

(NB: This post appears also on my new home at www.tostudent.com)

There truly isn't a shortage of idiots out there in the world. So if you happen to be keeping a list, please add the name of Albert George Muckle. He's a 25-year old "drifter" who pleaded guilty- and that's important- to the beating and sexual assault of a girl just out of her teens in Banff.

(Incidentally, the press has a way of making the crime seem far less horrible than it actually is. Their "beating and sexual assault" actually equates to strangling, attempting to kill, molesting, and leaving the woman unconscious and partially clothed in a park.)

He's in the news because he doesn't think he'll survive prison. Apparently Albert thinks the public should care that the rival gang members he's in prison with aren't going to invite him to their basketball games and tea parties.

Let's go over the facts again: Moron does terrible, terrible things to woman; woman is left in coma and is not expected to recover; moron gets caught (because remember, he didn't give himself in) and pleads guilty to the crime; moron refuses to be represented by a lawyer.

Now, I know what you're thinking. Bing, bang, boom; a quick win for the prosecution and a dangerous criminal off the streets, right? Right? Nope. On Thursday, the Crowne attorney asked for more time to examine documents from Albert's youth. Apparently they don't think a confessed maniac without legal representation isn't a sure-fire win so they're delaying the proceedings to find more evidence.

Albert's even willing to allow unlimited access because he's already been told by previous psychiatrists that the information isn't enough to declare him a dangerous offender.

What the crap is wrong with our legal system? This guy a) has previous psychiatric evaluation regarding dangerous offences; b) committed and pleaded guilty to the brutal attack and sexual assault of a woman; and c) refused legal defence. All that and they're still not sure he's a dangerous offender? They'll still delaying his trial? They'll still waiting for search warrants in order to get more documentation? All that and he'll still undergo a(nother) 60-day psychiatric evaluation?

The fact that Albert George Muckle committed this most awful crime is enough to make me sick. But the fact that our current legal system idly pushes paper while a 20-year old woman dies in a coma, well that's enough to make me cry.

There truly isn’t a shortage of idiots out there in the world. I just hate thinking that our legal system does more to keep them in operation than it does to put them away. To piss yourself off, read the story here.

Poor, poor horses.

"Charge filed in connection with man who died having horse sex"

Investigators first learned of the farm after the man died at Enumclaw Community Hospital July 2. The county Medical Examiner's Office ruled that the death was accidental and the result of having sex with a horse. Deputies don't believe a crime occurred because bestiality is not illegal in Washington state and the horse was uninjured, said Urquhart.

But because investigators found chickens, goats and sheep on the property, they are looking into whether animal cruelty — which is a crime — was committed by having sex with these smaller, weaker animals, he said.

The farm was talked about in Internet chat rooms as a destination for people looking to have sex with livestock, he said.

"A significant number of people, we believe, have likely visited this farm," said Urquhart.

No evidence of injury? Maybe that's because horses don't have a word for "man-sex" and were thus unable to get the proper point across to Washington investigators. Either way it's ok because, apparently, horses are big enough to take it. But please don't have sex with our smaller, weaker livestock. We sometimes like to eat those.

Please direct all comments, questions, and ridicule to the City of Enumclaw at City@ci.enumclaw.wa.us

Astronomy is for losers

Neptune, Pluto... Xena and Gabrielle?
The above story chronicles the possibility of a moon orbiting around a newly discovered planet in our solar system. Now, I was under the impression that astronomy and all things to do with space exploration were pretty intense fields of research. I thought that the people doing such research were of a particularly intelligent sort. Yeah, I was wrong. Astronomy is filled with losers.
Here's what one affection-deprived member of the California Institute of Technology said regarding the find:

"Having a moon is just inherently cool -- and it is something that most self-respecting planets have, so it is good to see that this one does too."

First question: why are moons "cool"? Second question: how is a planet "self-respecting"?

Let's just forget those and continue. Let's pretend that the person they interviewed was an anomoly, a loser among geniuses; a rough among diamonds. What's this? They named the moon "Gabrielle"? I wonder how smart science-folk decided on a name like that? The Greeks named the remaining planets in honour of the gods they worshipped. Gabrielle and Xena must be important astronomical phenomena, crazy-cool mathematical formulations, or the names of ground-breaking scientists, right? Right?

Gabrielle was the name of the sidekick and pal in the former television series, Xena: Warrior Princess.

If there's any intelligent life in this great cosmos, it certainly isn't found on the planet Earth.

Racism = Idiocy: The WIlliam Bennett Story

Why do people insist on saying really stupid things pubically? Stop me if you've heard about this: William Bennett is a radio talk-show host in the grand ol' US of A. In response to a question about the legitimacy of abortion, he responds with this gem:

if you wanted to reduce crime, you could, if that were your sole purpose, you could abort every black baby in this country and your crime rate would go down.

The problem with Bennett's comment isn't necessarily with its overtly racist tones. Sure he's linking a specific "race" with crime rates, a practice that implies his association of a particular people with a particular social ill, but that's not the heart of the issue. Or at least it shouldn't be.

William Bennett is simply just a moron. If we can assume that crime is committed by people regardless of their ethnic or cultural origins, then crime is committed equally and judged only on the basis of person-hood. People who commit crimes fall under the more representative category "people". If this is true across the board, with no more emphasis on 'black' people, 'white' people, or 'poorly-dressed' people, then one can equally assume that all walks of people are capable of committing crime.

Then his statement is a truism, an over-stated and unnecessary fact of life. Getting rid of any category of person, then, would necessarily lower the crime rate because all people are equally capable of committing all crimes. A reduction in possibilities would necessarily hold a reduction in instances.

But why stop there? I say abort all babies with less than six toes on each foot. When was the last time you heard of a six-toed person committing a crime? I rest my case: being racist relies on being an idiot first. Just ask William Bennett.